I have a modeling audition downtown tomorrow afternoon.

Of all the things I thought I'd would be doing with my life...

this was the least of them.

<3.

beautiful souls:

i've been missing for quite awhile.
i moved 1000 miles away from home by myself and am doing what i love,
what i'm called to do.

& it's been the hardest last few months of my life.

the phone rang in the middle of the night and it was this guy i met here recently.
he asked how i was and what was going on in my heart/life.
after i told him he simply said with confidence and knowing:

"you're here for a reason, i just know it."

so here i am alone in this room typing to you.
not really sure what i'm going to do today.
i feel a deep sadness in my heart for someone.
loving others is a risk. it's not in the words you say.

but in the actions you show them.

love is a verb.

i hope i'm a verb instead of just old words. 
..

.the perfect day.

www.everythingwasbeautifuland.blogspot.com

....

You keep track of all my sorrows.
      You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
      You have recorded each one in your book.

 My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.
      This I know: God is on my side!
  I praise God for what he has promised;
      Yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised.
  I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
      What can mere [man] do to me?

  I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,
      and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.
-psalm 56:8-12

....

this past Sunday morning my father walked out on us.
the things that have happened since that morning have been emotionally sickening.
i covet your prayers for my family.

pray for clarity of mind and for the Truth to be revealed.
pray that we will experience Jesus in this moment.
pray for my brother because he is away at camp and has no idea this has happened.
pray for my mom.

...

"life is messy. gut wrenching. risky. things don't always turn out well. sometimes they don't turn out at all. sometimes everything falls apart and we wonder if there's any point to any of it. we're tempted to shut ourselves off, fortify the walls around our hearts, and forge ahead, promising ourselves that we will never open ourselves up like that again.

but i have to believe that we can recover from anything. i have to believe that God can put anything - anyone - back together. i have to believe that the God Jesus invites us to trust is as good as He says He is." 

[this i know is True]

..

if you are reading this please check your protected postings.
i posted more things in detail.

thank you for lifting us up in prayer.

you look up one summer night and see the billion burning suns of the Milky Way.
you've been informed this is barely a drop in the cosmic ocean.
so you snap a self portrait, all hair and glasses and dental work

and hold it up to the sky.

"KNOW ME"

..